Chapter Text
The crude M&M toys he'd made were just about to meet not-so-little little Blitzø when the phone rang. A surge of shame and embarrassment flooded him for a millisecond before he felt a swell of anticipation (that was a very specific ringtone), which he quickly drowned in irritation. He had to be sure to look, feel and sound as annoyed as possible before he answered.
"WHAT?!"
Nailed it.
"Well, hello, my big dicked Blitzy," Stolas spoke through the phone just as Blitzø took a sip of his now cold coffee.
Said coffee was now decorating his office floor and wall.
"What the f*ck?" Blitzø yelled. He heard an echoed sentiment in the background on the other end of the call.
"Language, everyone!" Stolas scolded, before returning to the tone of voice he probably thought was seductive. "I have a special request."
"Aw... Look, I just had a chemical peel. So, you'll have to find someone else's face to plant that feathered ass," Blitzø declared.
"Aw... Look, I just had a chemical peel. So, you'll have to find someone else's face to plant that feathered ass," Blitzø declared.
Of course he was calling about their kinky business arrangement. Well, Blitzø wasn't giving that thirsty bitch any freebies (he definitely wasn't wondering what absurd yet satisfying ideas he was about to suggest). That was for emotionally invested dipsh*ts, not him. He was cool as a cucumber.
"It's for my daughter," Stolas huffed.
"Ah. Well, make sure she washes it," snarked Blitzø.
"No! No, no-no-no." Stolas stuttered. "I'm taking my daughter to Loo Loo Land, and I was hoping you brave little imps would accompany us!"
"We're assassins, not bodyguards, 'kay? Don't invite us to sh*t unless someone's gonna die."
There was no way in heaven he was going to that trash heap, piss stain of a hell hole. f*ck that right in the ass with a barbed wire bat.
"I'll pay you," Stolas hummed.
"Pay me what?" I swear to Lucifer if you say your cloak hole...
"Money," the owl crooned.
"Done!"
Three hours, two van rides and one conversation establishing boundaries later Blitzø was sending M&M off to enjoy themselves and following Stolitz and Loona. Loona the hellhound. Because Stolas had never thought to mention that his daughter was actually his pet hellhound who was also definitely an adult at this point.
What was going through that bird brain of his was beyond Blitzø. One, that hellhound daughter of his was more than enough security. Two, Loo Loo Land wasn't even a place people should take kids, nevermind a fully formed adult demon. And three, that was the most ridiculous outfit Blitzø had ever seen.
Stolas was wearing Loo Loo merch from head to toe. It was an eye sore. It was embarrassing to himself and everyone who had to look at him. Blitzø did not find it cute. Nope. Not at all.
The feathered dick was being weird too. Well, weirder than normal. He hadn't made a single pass at Blitzø since they'd arrived. Maybe that was because his daughter was right there, but she'd spent the whole time on her phone. Clearly she was just humouring her dad by being there. Although she did throw him worried looks every now and then.
"Oh, Blitzy! I need my bodyguard, please!" Stolas chirped from behind him.
Turning from watching Moxxie humiliate himself at a rigged game, Blitzø found the dumb bird held aloft by three assholes. Another imp thrust a pitchfork (ughh, cliché much) towards the idiot as another fished his wallet from his pocket. There was a sack over his head.
Beelzebub's tit*.
Blood splattered the hood over Stolas' head, Blitzø's bullet taking out the bitch with the pitchfork. The other f*ckheads scattered, dropping the Prince on his pretty little ass. As he had throughout the whole experience, Stolas sat there uselessly, like the spoilt, rich prick he was.
Rolling his eyes, Blitzø swung his gun over his shoulder and swooped the owl into his arms. He wasn't sure why, it just seemed the thing to do.
Loona yanked the hood off her dad's head as she walked past. Her eyes never left her phone as she continued on to lean against the large circus tent ahead of them. Stolas watched her with a strangely somber expression.
"Alright, bird brain, what gives?" When Stolas just blinked back at him Blitzø huffed. "You've been off all day! I literally just swept you off your feet and you haven't even offered to blow me!"
Stolas sighed and moved as if to stand so Blitzø put him down. His arms felt strangely empty, which was stupid. And the distance the bird was putting between them felt cold, which was also stupid. And nothing. He was fine and not feeling anything in relation to Stolas. Nothing at all.
"Look, if you didn't want me to come you should have hired different imps or just got that hellhound of yours to bodyguard," Blitzø scowled.
"That hellhound is my daughter, thank you very much. It's not her job to protect me," Stolas snapped. "And I was actually quite glad to have you by my side today."
"Okay, jeez!" Blitzø rushed out. "Then what the f*ck is it? You drag us all to this piece of sh*t rip-off theme park and you're not even really having fun?"
"Today is- is just a... a bit of a bad day for me so I... I just wanted a distraction and I thought it would be fun. I was wrong..." Stolas trailed off.
Thick tension hung between them. Rubbing the back of his neck, Blitzø peeked at Stolas out of the corner of his eye. He hated the pathetic look on the bird's face.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but your kid's worried about you too," Blitzø reached out before looking away again.
After a second too long of silence Blitzø didn't expect an answer, then a heavy sigh drifted down to him.
"I was meant to bring my daughter here once," Stolas spoke so softly Blitzø barely heard it.
"Okaaaay. Well, now you have, right? Granted she's like fifteen years older than anyone who actually wants to be here but you did it! Yay!" Blitzø gestured wildly with his hands.
"Not Loona. My other daughter."
Blitzø squinted up at him.
"Did you hit your head before I shot that guy?"
"What? No!" Stolas turned to him with wide eyes, shutting Blitzø up. "My other daughter. The one who died."
Mouth hanging open, Blitzø could do little more than stare uselessly up at his stricken face. Whatever he'd expected Stolas to say it hadn't been that.
"It was a long time ago and I try not to focus on it but... there are days every year that I can't help but remember her. Today marks thirteen years since she's been gone and next week is what would have been her sixteenth birthday. Every year is hard but this year seems much more difficult than usual," Stolas confessed.
"Well, sh*t, Stolas. That sucks." Way to go, Blitzø! 'That sucks.' Dude's daughter is dead! Imagine if it was Octavia. "Okay, you want a distraction? Wanna see the sh*ttiest show in all of hell?"
There was that cute confused head tilt Blitzø liked. Much better than the pitiful depressed look. Blitzø hoisted Stolas back in to his arms, actually letting himself enjoy the surprised hoot.
"Come on, sweetie. We're gonna watch a cheap knock off of a sell out and cheer your dad up," he called to Loona as he carried her dad into the tent.
Later, as Loo Loo Land burned and he tried not to think about the sh*t that came out of RoboFizz's mouth, Blitzø caught sight of Stolas zapping the imps left from before with his eyes as they advanced on Loona. They turned to stone, confirming Blitzø's suspicious that the stupid bird never needed bodyguarding at all. Also that Stolas was a great dad.
Stylish Occult was crammed but Octavia had longer legs than most demons which were tipped in sharp, sharp talons. Also, her dad had given her knives, guns and a f*ck around and find out attitude. Needless to say she got the last taxidermy hellsquirrel before that skan*y succubus could.
When her dad had handed her his Vox card and told her to treat herself to an early birthday present she'd been reluctant. Sure, business had been going well since they got the book, but they weren't exactly rolling in it. Octavia knew that her dad often went without for her - he didn't even have his own bedroom. But he'd threatened to buy her present himself and they'd agreed three years ago that that was over.
So she'd spent the day trying to find the perfect gift for herself. There hadn't been anything in her usual places so she'd taken a break at Starbucks. Moxxie had text to tell her her dad had smashed his phone (again) and they were taking Prince Stolas to Loo Loo Land, so she should just head home when she was done. She only felt a little left out by missing their trip.
Bet Dad's hating being there. He despises that place.
As she'd scrolled through Sinstagram to see M&M's pictures, an ad for Stylish Occult had flashed across the screen. Usually the high end alternative store was way out of her price range, something she knew from the amount of window shopping she'd done there, but the sale meant it was within her self assigned budget for the day (Blitzø did not know the meaning of the word budget but she sure did). She'd half flown to the store before they could sell out.
By the time she'd made it out with her prize she even had enough to pick up a replacement phone for her dad. The red "Ride or Die" phone case was too perfect to not treat him to. She couldn't wait to give it to him. Barging into their apartment, Octavia wrinkled her beak.
"Ugh! What is that smell?"
"Oh, hi, sweetie! How was your day? Get yourself somethin' good?" her dad replied from the lump of his jacket on the couch.
"Why does it smell like someone's been cremated in here?" she asked, kicking the door shut behind her.
"Yeeaaaah... Things got a little heated at Loo Loo Land."
Octavia groaned, stomping to the freezer. She rifled through the ice cream, ready meals and junk food to find a pizza. Throwing the frozen pizza from the back in the oven, she turned back to consider the huddled, singed form of her adoptive father.
"Do I even want to know?" she sighed, leaning against the counter with her arms crossed.
"Probs not."
The charred jacket slid from his shoulders as Blotzø sat up. The look on his face was complicated to say the least. Her arms fell to her side and she co*cked her head questioningly, waiting for an explanation as he looked for something in her face.
"I'm really glad I found you, you know? I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you, Veevee," he said softly.
Octavia didn't know how to respond to that. It was such an odd thing for him to say. While she had always known that Blitzø loved her, he never actually verbalised his feelings - any feelings. It was freaky.
"I love you. I know I don't really say it but I love you and I'm glad you're my daughter," Blitzø said.
Tears gathered in Octavia's eyes. He said sh*t like "love you, Veevee" and "best daughter ever!" all the time. Blitzø never talked like this, though. So real, so honest.
"I love you too, Dad," she choked.
Her chest squeezed with the words. The last time she'd said that had been years ago, she realised. When she was little she told him she loved him all the time, but when she got older she noticed how uncomfortable it made him and stopped. There'd been a niggle at the back of her head reminding her he never said it back, not properly, until she was old enough to realise he just didn't think she could really mean it.
There was only one thing for her to do. She flung her arms around him, bending awkwardly to reach him over the back of the couch. He returned the hug instantly, tucking her head under his chin, just like he had when she was little.
They stayed like that, her sniffling and him pretending there weren't tears running down his face, until her back felt the stretch from the awkward angle. She pulled back but kept her hands on his shoulders. Like the amazing daughter she was, she pretended not to see the tears (and snot, ew) as he smiled up at her.
"Did something happen?" she asked. Her dad sighed and looked away.
"It was just- well this thing with Fizz-"
"That clown you hate?" she interrupted.
"Yeah, him. And then Stolas was all sad," he continued. "He didn't even try to f*ck me!"
"Ew! Dad!" She reared back in disgust.
"What?" He blinked at her obliviously.
"Just- nevermind," she huffed. "Why was Stolas sad? Did you two have a fight?"
"No. Er... His daughter died thirteen years ago today."
"Oh. Oh, sh*t. That's grim."
"Yeah... I guess it just made me think about losing you," he admitted. "Okay! That is enough emotional shi-it for one day! What did you get for your birthday?"
Grinning, Octavia ran and grabbed her bag from the kitchen counter. She thrust the taxidermy in his repulsed face proudly. It was perfect for her collection.
"That's... nice?" her dad hedged.
"It's amazing, and the last one! I had to fight this bitch for it but she was no match for me," she crowed triumphantly, holding her prize aloft.
"That's my girl! Tomorrow we'll go out and celebrate, okay? Why don't you put that in your room and I'll get cleaned up and sort out the pizza?" he suggested.
Hugging him once more, she dashed into her room and placed her new piece of art on the shelf where she kept her collection. She called it her collection but it was just general bits and bobs that she loved. There were skulls she'd collected, taxidermies from independent creators, things her dad had found on Earth that he knew she'd find cool and other keepsakes. It was eclectic yet she was quite proud of it.
Octavia picked up the item she started it all with: Twilight Sparkle. For a while, when he first saved her, her dad had let her sleep with his teddy. She didn't remember much from her early years but she remembered those nights she'd wake up crying out for someone she couldn't even remember. Blitzø would hold her until she knew where she was again then he'd hand her the plush toy to sleep with.
"This is Applejack. She is so brave that whenever I'm scared I just give her a big ol' hug and she makes me brave too," he would say.
However, despite the fuzziness of her memories, she could recall with perfect clarity the day he gave her her own pony. She'd always had a fascination with the stars and whenever he took her shopping for clothes, or bedding, or anything she always picked stars over anything else. So when he gave her her own pony, telling her the star on its side reminded him of her and that he knew his special girl deserved a special friend all of her own, she'd said "thank you, Daddy", her first words to him, and that was that. From then on he was her dad.
Thinking about what he'd just revealed, she was so grateful things worked out the way they did. Homeless kids in hell didn't do well and Lilith knew what would have happened if he hadn't rescued her. Blitzø saved her, cared for her and loved her. Yeah, she was lucky he was her dad. She wouldn't change anything about him.
A high pitched alarm shrieked through the apartment as the scent of smoke grew heavier. That would be the pizza he'd said he'd handle.
Okay, maybe there were some things she would change.
